The closing moment of the first edition of RubyConf Austria is approaching and the next act is the pinnacle of the idea. We’re about to witness one of our own perform his passion on stage in the way he wanted and hoped to do for a while. I could see the passion, the child-like joy on his face as the performance was just moments away.
Time is ticking, we are moments away, however the jazz pianist that Chad wanted to perform with is nowhere to be seen. She confirmed multiple times that she is coming, reaffirmed her positive stance each time I asked, but now it seems we’re without a pianist.
I could see it in Chad’s face, almost like a kid anticipating his dad’s return from a long business trip.
I’m calling, no answer. Sending messages, nothing. Then someone from Das MuTh approaches, “the pianist is here, she is backstage”.
“Great! Let’s go there!”
I go inside, Chad’s there with his saxophone and that glow in his eyes. Julia is sitting in a chair and, as I’m about to find out, not feeling well and waiting for her tea to arrive.
Julia is visibly ill and has been for a few days now. She’s barely sitting down and is shaking while holding the tea in her hands.
We slowly get to the point that Julia can’t go on stage in that condition and I can see the glow in Chad’s eyes replaced by what I can only describe as an increasingly broken heart.
I know because I felt it as well.
Sometime around January last year I told Chad about this idea I had for building an experience where we would incorporate music into a conference and have it at the core of the memory of the participants.
He bought into the idea and the passionate programmer shared this passion with me for a bit more than a year leading up to the event and the moment where he signs off maybe his last Ruby conference as a speaker.
I love my speakers. I never ask people to be something that they are not.
I’m blessed that people like Chad, by some miracle from God, say yes to me when I ask and once they do I shut up and try to provide everything that’s on my end of the bargain and simply benefit from these individuals being the best versions of themselves, being originals, and it is such a blessing that I’m trusted with that.
So, I told him. We were in the middle of it and were even mentioning something as dangerous and ludicrous as canceling the thing we’ve both been looking forward to for more than a year.
“I love you, Chad.”
“I know everyone here loves you.”
“If you go out there alone and play anything, just anything, everyone will love you for it.”
I saw a Chad with a broken heart, ready to give up completely and carry that disappointment and very possibly a nice amount of regret, because the idea that we both had for that moment had fallen apart.
This beautiful man found space even in this condition, maybe also because he saw how much it meant to me, to go out and do something, anything.
He came out, sat down at the piano and started playing a bit. I could feel the sadness and the emotion he had. He turned towards the audience and asked if anyone else plays piano by any chance. The hope was still there for a moment, but there was nobody else and that was it.
What I saw next, while watching what was only a sad ending to a fairytale we wanted it to be, was one of the rawest displays of emotion on stage I have ever seen.
Chad was playing the piano and the saxophone intermittently and pouring his heart into a melody which he will later reveal was a homage to the honeymoon he had in Vienna with his wife.
I saw pure emotion. It was better than anything perfect Chad might have planned. It was authentic pain and love pouring out of the two instruments.
Pure Jazz… almost Blues.
He promised to improvise two songs. Not knowing what they will be, as he said he will know when he feels it.
Then, after performing his heart out for his wife and what means a great deal for him, he did something I will remember for the rest of my life as a very special moment. This moment also closed the conference.
Chad Fowler, in a half-full Das MuTh, led the audience through his saxophone with the “Happy Birthday” melody and everyone was singing along.
Dave Thomas was singing along.
I had just turned 33 years old a few days back and the conference was always an excuse for me to invite and host the people I admire and can learn from, spend quality time with them, as a kind of a gift I can give to myself for my birthday.
It was my secret reason for a while and I revealed it as part of a promo post for the conference a day or two before.
I was ready to cry at that moment and I did for a short bit when I went backstage to hug him for a few seconds and give him a nice kiss on the cheek.
Out of a moment of sadness for both of us, he was able to produce something beautiful I will always carry with me.
I don’t remember the last time I experienced such love from a group of people I don’t particularly know that well.
It’s a passion and we share it.
Not everything went well.
I’m losing some money and that’s ok.
We almost lost John to a peanut allergy!
Dave wants to beat people up based on class issues! But that’s getting under control thankfully.
We saw a snake on the hike and curiosity almost killed the cat.
Folks were breaking into Schönbrunn at midnight to solve clues and be the first to the treasure chest!
Bozhidar (I’m fairly certain) freaked out some uptight people from Das MuTh with his alcohol references during at least 10 continuous minutes of the presentation — people who were in the theater hall only for those 10 minutes, hoping to learn about this classy technical conference taking place in their theater and take away some nice impressions.
Clemens got a pointy hat that sorted him into the Python/TS house by accident and he seems to be struggling to find his way back.
Hans is super motivated to do a second edition of the conference (dangerously so).
I could go on for pages and pages.
However, something obviously went right as well.
My passion was there, available to the naked eye, and the group that saw it knew how to recognize it as well!
These titans of our industry, some of whom I’m slowly becoming friends with hopefully, I saw as actually engaged and highly interested in aspects of the conference.
It resonated! I saw passion and humility and great thirst for knowledge! I saw a community!
I’m rich!
You actually came and cared deeply.
I’m rich!
I have Chad’s contact information. Also from: Dave, Armin, Obie, José, Irina, Zuzanna, Carmine, Charles, John, Jan, Hans, Andy, Ljubomir, Dalma, Jess, Scott, Julia, Bozhidar, Marco, Maedi, Iman, Nadir, Christoph, Zehra, Benjamin, Roy, CJ, Andrzej…
I called Dave three times today and he picked up each time.
I’m rich!
I’m not a stranger anymore to the people I find I love in different ways for their uniqueness, and some of them love me back for mine.
Thank you for all the fish!
Thank you for trusting me!
I’m rich!